Revolutions of Ruin - Mark Z. Danielewski
We’re the unmended, the untended,
cold soldiers of the shoe. We’re the neglected,
the never resurrected, agonies of the few.
We’re the once kissed, unmissed and allways
refused. Because we’re the unfinished
and feared and we’re never pursued.
And just that easily, on my behalf,
I come around. Because I’m burning.
The beast of War feeds only on the meats of War.
And now I’m for carnage.
Here’s how my anguish frees.
Destroy everyone of course. Because I’m unwanted
and unsafe. And I’ll take tears away with torments & rape,
killings & fears not even the dead will escape.
Encircling the Guilty, Ashamed, Blameless and
Enslaved. Absolved. Butchering their prejudice.
Patience. Their Value. Because I’m without value.
I’m the coming of every holocaust. Turning no lost.
Rending tissue, sinew & bone. Excepting no suffering.
By me all levees will break. All silos heave.
I will walk heavy.
And I will walk strange.
Because I am too soon.
Because without Her, I am only revolutions
Of ruin.
Because I am too soon.
Because without You, I am only revolutions
Of ruin.
I’m the prophecy prophecies pass.
Why need dies at last.
How oceans dry. Islands drown.
And skies of salt crash to the ground.
I turn the powerful. Defy the weak.
Only grass grows down abandoned streets.
For a greater economy shall follow US
and it will be undone.
And a greater autonomy shall follow US
and it too will be undone.
And a greater feeling shall follow Love
and it too we will blow to dust.
For I am longings without trust. The cycloidal haste
freedom from Hailey forever wastes.
Dust cares for only dust.
And time only for US.
Because I am too soon.
Because without Her, I am only revolutions
Of ruin.
Because I am too soon.
Because without You, I am only revolutions
Of ruin.
We are allways sixteen…
The Great Smog of ‘52
Crying is bad for your face, everyone knows that.
Mary falls in love with John but John doesn’t fall in love with Mary. He merely uses her body for selfish pleasure and ego gratification of a tepid kind. He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, you’ll notice that he doesn’t even consider her worth the price of a dinner out, and after he’s eaten dinner he fucks her and after that he falls asleep, while she does the dishes so he won’t think she’s untidy, having all those dirty dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she’ll look good when he wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn’t even notice, he puts on his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie and his shoes, the reverse order from the one in which he took them off. He doesn’t take off Mary’s clothes, she takes them off herself, she acts as if she’s dying for it every time, not because she likes sex exactly, she doesn’t, but she wants John to think she does because if they do it often enough surely he’ll get used to her, he’ll come to depend on her and they will get married, but John goes out the door with hardly so much as a good-night and three days later he turns up at six o’clock and they do the whole thing over again.
Mary gets run-down. Crying is bad for your face, everyone knows that and so does Mary but she can’t stop. People at work notice. Her friends tell her John is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn’t good enough for her, but she can’t believe it. Inside John, she thinks, is another John, who is much nicer. This other John will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a Jack from a box, a pit from a prune, if the first John is only squeezed enough.
One evening John complains about the food. He has never complained about her food before. Mary is hurt.
Her friends tell her they’ve seen him in a restaurant with another woman, whose name is Madge. It’s not even Madge that finally gets to Mary: it’s the restaurant. John has never taken Mary to a restaurant. Mary collects all the sleeping pills and aspirins she can find, and takes them and a half a bottle of sherry. You can see what kind of a woman she is by the fact that it’s not even whiskey. She leaves a note for John. She hopes he’ll discover her and get her to the hospital in time and repent and then they can get married, but this fails to happen and she dies.
